When Your Date’s Apartment Sucks | CH Shorts

When Your Date’s Apartment Sucks | CH Shorts


(electronic music) – Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
– Sweetie. – Hey. – Thank you so much
for meeting me at work. – Yeah, of course. Are we all good? – We are good to go, let’s head on home. – Yeah, let me just text my roommate, and tell them that we are on our way. – Are we doing your place or my place? – Oh, uh we could do either. – Oh, yeah, your place, my place, whichever, yeah the,
there’s two apartments. I can do either one. – Great, me too. – Doh, doh, doh, doh, doh. Do you still have that mouse problem? – Oh, no, no, no. – Cool. – The carbon monoxide
leak just killed them all. So, yeah, now we have rats. – Ah. – Yeah. – Oh, okay. So if you have rats at your place, maybe we do– – Oh, totally, totally. – Sure.
– Yeah. Except that we’ve spent
the last two nights at your place.
– Right. – And I feel like we’ve never spent… The night at my place. – Totally, totally,
totally, totally, totally. – So we should– – Let’s see which one’s farther away. – Oh wow, they are equidistant
from this very point. Wow, that is unlikely, right? – Yeah, you’d think one would be closer, but they’re the exact same. – Yeah. (laughs) – I just remembered something. My roommate got in touch with me. He cooked two full dinners
and he couldn’t eat them. So they’re just waiting at my apartment. He said that we could have them. – Wait, hold on, why
can’t he eat his own food? – Emergency, he got called into work at the Michelin-star
restaurant where he cooks. – Oh. – Yeah.
– Well this is a puzzler, huh? (laughs)
– What are we gonna do? – Yeah. (laughs) Oh, I have food at my place. – What do you have? – I have a Ziploc bag full of oats. (laughs) And some nasty bread. – All right, well. – Yeah. – We both have food. – Oh, man, what’re we gonna do? – Cool, cool, cool.
– Yeah. – Oh, what’s the parking
like at your spot? – Oh, yeah, so the riots
haven’t stopped yet. But if you just go like
a coupla hundred blocks, there is definitely like a
spot or two just somewhere, so. – Hell, yeah. – Yeah, wait how’s the
parking at your place? – It’s pretty good at my spot. – Oh, sure, but you have
that new parking ordinance. – Yes, there is a new parking ordinance. The city actually pays you
to park in my neighborhood because all the available spots
were a safety concern, so. – Oh. – Yeah. – No, I don’t understand that. – Yeah, it doesn’t make sense. – Oh, no. Oh, I have to feed my cats. – Oh, that’s right. How are they doing? – Oh, yeah, terrible. – Oh no. – They’re stress pooping everywhere ever since they won oldest at the county fair. – Ugh, oh, God, poor little guys. – Yeah. – Very cool that the
county fair splits an award between six cats. – Oh, nope. (meowing) – Ah, another one. – Seven. This stray just
sort of wandered right into the hole in my bedroom wall, so. – Oh, the hole, the one that lets in the freezing cold
air from the dark alley where your drunk scary
neighbors yell all the time. – That is the one. – I know it well. – Yeah, oh my God, but don’t worry, you can’t hear those neighbors anymore. No, no, no, they started
like building this skyscraper next door so you can’t hear anything. They’re just like (imitates
jackhammer drilling) great, it’s great. (laughs) Okay, all right, fine just, fine, fuck it, we will go
back to your apartment, okay? Just fuck it, Jesus Christ, Brennan. (sighs) – Sweetie, I’m really sorry. I never want to make you feel bad about where you live. I have a nice apartment,
but that doesn’t matter. It’s only fair that we
spend the same amount of time at both of our
places, and I’m sorry. Let’s spend the night at your place. – Thank you. Really, I appreciate that. – Do you still have that roommate who flies into violent seizures if he hears people having sex? – Oh, yeah but he’ll be on
the porch selling bath salts all night, and he’s probably
not even gonna hear us over the sound of my
cats blasting hot shit all over your shoes. And toothbrush. – Rad, rad, rad, rad, rad, rad. Hey, guys, this is Brennan
from College Humor. Click here to subscribe. Click here for more fun stuff. And please keep watching
because if you stop watching, I start to vanish. Do you get it? I’m not really real, I’m
just a thing on your screen. Don’t forget me!

100 thoughts on “When Your Date’s Apartment Sucks | CH Shorts

  1. Gross. I literally lived next crack dealers once, which was bad enough without the hooker in the house diagonal to them, who was clearly a recurring customer of the former. She lived with her husband, who was so embarrassed by her since she constantly propositioned me and all her other neighbors. She was disgusting and I was gone after the second month.

  2. I can’t make myself not watch till the end of all Brennan’s videos ‘cause of the “don’t forget me!” thing

  3. Totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally cool

  4. Bruh if my girlfriend knew all that her apartment was trash and still wanted me to go id probably just drop her off and leave.

  5. This is almost word for word a sketch collegehumor did before, my god, the guy can literally plagerize and people will still act like he hung the moon

  6. Why is there an argument? Go to the guys place easily – like not only are there no perks at the girls, and all the perks at the guys (even if most are probably lies 😂) but chica, you don’t have to clean your place again if you never have him over.

  7. My appartment sucks but my gf lives with a mom and a 3 years old kid so… My place is better. An intimate shithole is better than any place where you have to share your space with kids

  8. Actually, Brennan could've just argued the "equidistant", by slightly changing the definition of "distance".

    For example, if it's previously defined as the distance from one to one's room, then alter it to the distance from one to another one's room.

    Since there's an angle difference between Brennan's & his gf's position relative to respective room, obviously the equidistant property won't hold once the definition is altered.

  9. I can handle gross: too posh is worse 😑 ; when you don’t want to go to your friends apartment anymore because everything is too nice, they make you take your shoes off and then ask if you bought your own spare ‘carpet socks’ to wear inside. They shriek as you sit on the couch, asking you to sit down ‘softly’ next time and in the exact centre of each couch cushion so as not to ‘crunch them’ and don’t ‘slump into the sofa’ ie don’t lean back. Requests to use the bathroom met with an expression of ‘oookaaaay if you must’ and there are strict instructions about which hand towel to use (because some are just ‘display towels’). If you ever shower and sleep there (god help you) you must always Ajax and squeegee the shower after and NEVER LEAVE LINES. Full length pants and shirts only if you sleep in their double bed because ‘skin cells’? (How does this person have sex??)
    All this and more is why the girls and I had to tell one of our friends why no, their admittedly super gorgeous apartment was not where we ever want to have pre drinks and sleep after going out ever again because being there SUCKS (for males wondering; girls will have sleepovers after clubbing well into their thirties, bc it’s just safer to go home drunk as a group and sadly this is how we have to think even in 2019)

  10. Does anyone else rewind and pause the video to keep him in existence or oppositely rewind to keep watching him fade

  11. Totally, totally, totally, toootally, totallytotallytotally.
    Dope…. dope, dope, dope. Dooooope. Dope.
    Rad, rad. Raaad, rad raaad. Rad.
    Cool…… coolcoolcool.

  12. What if this video wasn't the actual one for this topic and the real one is Brennan having a date (the fruit) and going to the date's (fruit) apartment,which,by the way,is filthy,ugly and disgusting.

  13. Kinda disappointed we don't cut to her apartment like, on fire or something. You guys build it up but no pay off.

  14. So lemme get something straight how desperate is he for sex really? They only been together for like maybe 3 days. Listen to what she says. We spent the last two nights at your place but we never stay the night at my place soooooooo? If you take that👆👆 into context they only been doing it for 3 days at most. So again how worth it is the sex really and how desperate is he to get it?

  15. Are american apartments really that fucking awful?!
    I mean, my first flat was depressing, but this takes it to whole other level

  16. Her apartment actually sounds fun. We could watch horror movies, feed her cats, then go back to my house to sleep.

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