Nursing Home – SNL

Nursing Home – SNL


>>>HEY GRAMMY.
>>LIKE YOUR SHOES, GRAMMY. THOSE ARE SHARP.
>>I’M REALLY GLAD YOU BOTH CAME BY TO VISIT MAUREEN.
I KNOW THIS IS A LONG DRIVE FOR YOU TWO.
>>OF COURSE, DOCTOR. WE’VE GOT TO MAKE SURE GRAMMY
KNOWS WE STILL CARE ABOUT HER.>>SO HOW’S SHE BEEN?
IS SHE ADJUSTING OKAY?>>SHE’S GETTING ALONG JUST
FINE, MS. CONNOR.>>ARE YOU MAKING ANY FRIENDS
YET, GRAMMY?>>OH, SHE’S MAKING PLENTY OF
FRIENDS.>>SHE KIND OF SEEMS A LITTLE
OUT OF IT TODAY. IS SHE ALL RIGHT?
>>OH, SHE’S FINE. SHE’S A LITTLE GRUMPY BECAUSE
SHE JUST GOT HER PENICILLIN SHOT.
SHE DOESN’T EXACTLY LOVE NEEDLES.
>>PENCILIN? WHAT’S WRONG?
>>JUST A LITTLE GONORRHEA. WELL I’LL YOU THREE ALONE TO —
>>WHAT?>>GONORRHEA?
[ LAUGHTER ]>>THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC.
IT’S VERY TREATABLE. IT SHOULD BE CLEARED UP IN A
WEEK OR SO.>>HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
>>WE THINK SEX.>>SHE’S 91 YEARS OLD.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>MS. CONNOR, YOUR GRANDMOTHER
MAY BE 91 BUT SHE STILL HAS A VERY ACTIVE SEX LIFE.
>>SO YOU LET THEM HAVE SEX HERE?
>>SHE’S AN ADULT WOMAN OF SOUND MIND.
SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS. CASUAL SEX BETWEEN RESIDENTS IS
VERY COMMON IN NURSING HOMES. IT’S REALLY NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.
>>WELL I MEAN, CAN’T YOU AT LEAST GIVE THEM PROTECTION SO
THAT THEY ARE SAFE?>>OF COURSE, BUT WE CAN’T MAKE
THEM USE IT. WE CAN BARELY GET THEM TO PUT IN
THEIR TEETH. YOU KNOW HOW STUBBORN YOUR
GRANDMA CAN BE.>>WHICH ONE OF THESE GROSS OLD
DUDES GAVE MY GRANDMA GONORRHEA?>>THIS TIME, WE DON’T KNOW.
>>WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS TIME? SHE GOT IT MORE THAN ONCE?
>>EIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>SHE GOT GONORRHEA EIGHT TIMES?
>>WE’RE NOT EXACTLY SURE WHO IS GIVING IT TO WHOM AT THIS POINT.
THERE’S SORT OF A ROUND ROBIN SITUATION BETWEEN HER AND SIX OR
SO OTHER RESIDENTS.>>THEY ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF
HER.>>BELIEVE ME, NOBODY IS TAKING
ADVANTAGE OF HER, MISS CONNOR. THEY’RE RUNNING A TRAIN, BUT
SHE’S THE CONDUCTOR. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>THEY’RE ALL IN THERE AT THE SAME TIME?
>>WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER IF I SAID NO?
>>YES, IT WOULD.>>>SEE.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>GRAMMY, HOW COULD YOU?
>>MISS CONNOR, RELAX. IT IS A ACTUALLY REALLY SWEET.
AFTER EVERY ENCOUNTER, THE GENTLEMEN EVEN LEAVE HER A
SINGLE ROSE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>OH, MY GOD. ALL OF THAT IS FOR SEX?
DOCTOR, WHAT CAN WE DO TO STOP THIS?
>>SHE’S NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG.
AND FRANKLY, IT IS GREAT FOR MORALE.
SINCE MAUREEN HAS JOINED THE HOME, RIOTS HAVE BEEN WAY DOWN.
[ LAUGHTER ] FROM THE RESIDENTS TO THE STAFF,
EVERYONE IS HAPPIER WITH MAUREEN AROUND.
>>SHE’S NOT SLEEPING WITH STAFF, TOO?
>>WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER IF I SAID NO?
[ LAUGHTER ]>>YES.
>>I SEE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>THAT’S IT. WE ARE TAKING HER OUT OF THIS
NURSING HOME.>>YOU CAN’T DO THAT.
>>WHY CAN’T WE?>>BECAUSE SHE’S ASLEEP.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>OKAY, WELL THEN WHEN SHE
WAKES UP.>>ALL RIGHT, FINE.
BUT IT’S STILL GOING TO HAPPEN. JUST SOMEWHERE ELSE.
YOUR GRANDMA LIKES TO BANG. JUST LET HER.
LOOK GETTING OLD IS TOUGH. IT CAN GET LONELY HERE.
A LOT OF THE RESIDENTS HERE WANT TO GIVE UP ON LIFE.
>>OH.>>WOW.
>>BUT THEN WE SEND YOUR GRANDMOTHER TO THEIR ROOM.
AND SHE CONVINCES THEM THAT THERE IS STILL A REASON TO GO ON
LIVING LIKE ONLY SHE CAN. BY LETTING HER GO NUTS ON THEM.
>>DUDE, THAT IS DISGUSTING.>>WAIT.
MAYBE HE’S RIGHT.>>I MEAN IF IT MEANS THAT MUCH
TO THE HOME AND GRAMMY IS HAPPY, THEN FINE BY ME.
>>ME TOO.>>ME TOO.
HA HA.>>OH, GRAMMY!
[ APPLAUSE ]

100 thoughts on “Nursing Home – SNL

  1. I've worked at nursing homes. Legally we cant stop them from having sex or using toys. Sorry for whoever had to clean that

  2. They are so fucking annoying with the urge to stop their grandmother's happiness over their own selfish uncomfortability.

  3. I thought when you get old the vag seals up and there is no way to make love.
    I’m gonna show this video to my 40 year old wife and have a talk.

  4. Heidi Gardner’s voice always sounds like she’s just getting over some illness or like she’s going to cry or like she’s frightened, or all of the above. I know this isn’t nice, but it’s grating .only slightly less bothersome than nails scratching a chalkboard.

  5. Former LPN at an facility care home. This skit was not a joke. Like… nothing about it was a joke or an exaggeration. Y'alls grandmas are some nasty freaks. Their pussy game is on point and they keep it that way.

  6. While at my first job in TV, we ran a story about nursing home doctors and the crazy level of STDs they had to deal with. Super real. Super gross

  7. Love Kumail but I wish he'd memorized his lines. The sketch dragged and he botched a couple of the better jokes.

  8. If SNL added Kumail Nanjiani to the regular cast they would be 1000x better. Not to mention Kate is just insanely good

  9. I worked in a care home in Britain where I knew a patient with so massive dick that all female staff used to fantasize with it!

  10. You haven't lived until you've contracted ghonneria/chlachlamydia just once. Thank God it's curable, but a hard lesson to learn 🤣

  11. I’m picturing a load of old people rioting with walking frames an walking sticks and teeth flying about 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

  12. This is lowkey a really good commentary on how people start to view elderly people once they’re in a home. They’re still people, they still want everything we want. They just need extra support in parts of their life, but that doesn’t mean they can’t make decisions for themselves. I see this a lot, people act like their grandparents are babies and it’s really just disrespectful after a certain point.

  13. As far as snl Kate McKinnon is the next bill hader ,somehow making people laugh purely with their facial expression

  14. Yeah, people in nursing homes have sex a lot, usually without protection as they aren't able to become pregnant, so this sketch is actually true

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  16. "Casual sex between residents in nursing homes is really common." Actually it's not. Orderlies sexually abusing residents and even taking money from strangers in exchange for access to them is really common. Hence the high amount of STIs in nursing homes.

  17. why is the actor who's playing the doctor not looking at them when he speaking… he speaking off to the side that's so weird.. or is it just me?

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