Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit – Game Grumps

Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit – Game Grumps


Arin: Hey I’m Grump! Danny: I’m not so Grump! Both: And we’re the Game Grumps! D: Okay, welcome to this nightmare! It’s Home Improvement… A: (Laughing) It’s Home Improvement. A: (Laughing) It’s Home Improvement.
D: and I know it must be bad D: because Arin was like “Close your eyes.”
A: (Laughs) D: “Don’t… don’t look at the screen while I-” A: Well I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. D: Yeah, no. I mean- A: When you- when you think of…
D: Mmhm. A: Home Improvement, Super Nintendo game…
D: Yeah? A: What do you imagine?
D: Probably the greatest game of all time- D: Pro- cause-
A: (interrupting) Like what- what do you- what is the game? D: That’s a really good question. D: Is- is the so- is there some… uh hijinks afit? D: Uh… like afoot on Tool Time and… D: I need to sort it out as… D: Tim Allen? Or maybe… D: I need to find my coke dealer. (Laughs) A: You gotta rat on your friends- AEUHHH???? D: (Laughs) I’m sorry Tim Allen I… D: I mean, a lot of people do coke you shouldn’t… get a bad rap for that. A: You should get a bad rap for that. D: Oh I mean… uh… should you? D: But like a bad wrap from like Subway. D: Anyway, here we go! D: It’s Tool Time!
A: Look his kids are on the show for some reason. D: Yeah! …why wouldn’t they be? A: Because they’re not on the show. D: “Al, today is a very special day here at Tool Time. The Binford.” A: (Laughs) D: “Tool Company is honoring their favorite TV personality.” A: AEUHHH???? D: (Laughs) Wow that’s actually him. A: “Well, thank you Tim. I appreciate Binford’s support…” D: “Ha ha ha ha, Al! Not you, oh Prince of Plaid.” D: “It’s me, Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor.” A: “And how will they be honoring you, oh Master of Mistakes?” (Both laugh in character) D: “By adding my name to a new line of ultra-power tools!” D: “Shut up.” D: “By adding my name to a new line of ultra-power tools!” A: AEUHHH???? A: “Everyone knows that… real craftsmen don’t need more power, Tim.” D: “Al, I’m gonna fuckin-” A: (Laughs) Al, you- D: “Don’t give me that new age philosophy!! The.” D: “Modern man wants the same thing he did in the Stone.” D: “Age…? — What is that, audience??”
A: (Laughs) Both: “MORE POWER.” D: “Ah, yes!! The lilting sounds of the catchy Binford.” A: (Laughing)
D: “Jingle! It’s time to reveal the new Binford-Taylor.” D: “Turbo-power tool line!!!” A: AEUAEUAEUAE- A: AEUAEUHHH???? D: Oh god. (Laughs) His walk cycle is terrible.
A: There he goes. There he goes. A: Hey come back!
D: Yup. D: “Al!! The tool case is empty!! Call security!! Call.” A: (Laughs) D: “The police!? Call the national guard!!”
A: (Laughs more) A: “Now, Tim. Calm down. The tools were probably.” *WHOOPS* D: “Sure, Al!” (Laughs)
A: (Laughs) D: (Still laughing) “It’s OK for you to be calm – the tools don’t have your name on them!” D: “Look I found this note.” D: “Back stage! If you ever want to see your precious tools.” D: “Again, go back to the stone age where you belong!” D: Wh- “OK Al, the joke’s over. Where are the tools?” A: “Tim, honest, I did not take your tools. I wonder.” A: “What the note means. Stone age, huh. Y’know, we.” D: (Laughs) A: “Might try looking right here on the lot. They’re.” A: “Filming Dinosaur Safari on sound stage 3. Might be.” A: “A good place to start…”
D: I cannot believe A: (Laughs)
D: that I was dead fuckin right… D: that some hijinks were afoot on Tool Time and I had to solve them.
A: (Laughs) D: I can’t *believe* that! A: It’s the turbo-triple-action ripper dude. D: Yeah, but only turbo is- matters apparently. A: Yeah, it’s the bolded letters- D: *RALPH* A: *mumbles* different color. Thank you. D: Whoo! That one caught me off guard. OH!
A: Thank you. That was nice. D: WOAH Woah woah!
A: Alright, welcome to the first level! D: Oh my god I’m on a sound stage. Okay.
A: Yeah. D: So I can jump… A: Mhm. D: I can- I can flex. (Laughs) I can f- I can jump and-
A: You can flex. You can- and he goes A: AEUHHH???? D: Oh! A: And you can use your- uh Bionic Commando grappling hook.
D: I have a- yeah I have a D: I have a grappling claw. Oh!
A: Yeah. D: And I- (excited) I got tools! Holy shit!
A: Yeah. Dude it’s Tool Time. A: It’s Home Improvement dude.
D: (Laughs) D: I can jackhammer!
A: (Laughs) D: And collect the Cheerios! A: (Laughs) D: Did I win? D: Did I get the Cheerios?
A: Whoah don’t fall off the ledge dood. D: Yeah this is a dangerous sound stage. A: Don’t fall off the ledge dood. D: Oh.
A: That’s an ant. D: Oh, oh! D: Oh! Oh!
A: You might want to kill it. D: OH! OH WHOAHO! D: OH! OHNO!
A: (Laughs) D: Oh! D: GOT him. A: More POWER! D: Yeah.
A: You wanna take out that ant you need POWER. D: You better fuckin believe it! A: (SoUnDs oF POWER) D: You think I’m gonna take on an ant with half power? D: FUCK THAT SHIT. Oh, those are NUTS.
A: Yeah. D: I have to collect the NUTS.
A: Well there’s- there’s a- there’s a pterodactyl A: throwing eggs at you. D: Yeah, how do I take him out with a staple gun?
A: (Laughs) D: Um… D: What if I use the gra- no there’s- that’s-
A: No you can’t do that. D: AAAGGGHHHH!
A: OHHH NO! D: OH GOD! D: I’ve been knocked out and my D: children-
A: Jonathan Taylor Thomas is coming around to give you a hotdog. A: Jonathan Taylor Thomas is coming around to give you a hotdog. D: Alright.
A: Jonathan Taylor Thomas is coming around to give you a hotdog. D: This is terrible. A: Yeah I know, it’s great.
D: It’s really good, okay. A: No, it’s super good.
D: Ohh, so these- okay. A: Yeah, you just gotta shoot screws outta your… D: Do I have-
A: staple gun. D: Ye- Well, yeah that doesn’t make any sense but, alright.
A: It’s a nail gun. D: Ye- Well, yeah that doesn’t make any sense but, alright. D: That’s the golden nut. A: So do you like it? Yeah?
D: I love it. D: Why *wouldn’t* I love it? D: Are you kidding me?
A: Wow, look at it go- A: Jeez, you have like infinite- woah my god!
D: Yeah! D: I can- This is dangerous. A: They’re bigger now too. D: I- thank you for noticing.
A: Whatever happened… A: made them bigge*burp*r.
D: Yeaarhh (Laughs) A: AEUHHH???? D: STAHP. The- blow up, pterodactyl! A: (Laughs)
D: I’m shootin you with so many nails. A: Well that’s how they explain it away. D: Ugh!
A: It’s like “Oh, it’s a sound stage so it’s not a real perodactyl.” A: It’s like “Oh, it’s a sound stage so it’s not a real perodactyl.” A: “It’s a machine pterodactyl.”
D: Oh, you’re right. A: But it’s re- it’s *really* flying around. D: Oh, OH GOD THE ANTS! A: The ants (Laughs) The ant’s will be the death of you dude. D: Je- oh they were, they were. D: Je- oh they were, they were.
A: That was A: Do you remember the episode of Home Improvement when A: there was an ant crawling around? A: there was an ant crawling around?
D: I do not. A: and Tim was like “Gotta shoot it with the staple gun.” D: Are you- are you being serious?
A: and then he went- and then he went A: AEUHHH???? D: Is this canon? D: Is this canon?
A: and then uhhh… A: and then Jonathan Taylor Thomas was like “I’m gonna have a career.” D: (Laughs) Did he? A: He did for like… a couple years. D: Good for him. A: and then he vanished. A: He was uh- he was Simba. A: Dood. D: (Amazed) Jonathan Taylor Thomas was Simba? A: Yeah, you didn’t know that? D: (rethinking whole life) I did not fucking know that. A: He’s gonna be a mighty king so enemies beware. D: (Adjusting to this new reality) That’s insane. A: Yeah, it’s too bad he didn’t have much hair. A: Yeah, it’s too bad he didn’t have much hair.
D: (Adjustment failed) LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT NUT! A: That’s a huge nut! D: THAT’S A LOTTA NUTS!
A: That’s a HUGE nut! D: That’ll be FOUR BUCKS, BABY! A: You want FRIES WITH THAT!? D: Oh, am I- is this a death? D: Is that death?
A: No it’s not a death. (lies and deceit) D: No? I can fall? A: Yeah, you can fall. (betrayal and falsehoods)
D: Okay. A: Just kidding! (Both laugh) D: (Laughing) You’re such a dick! D: *gasp* Oh it was my last guy! A: No but it doesn’t matter! D: Right when I was getting the fuckin hang of it.
A: Uh huh. D: I’m amazing at this game now! Now it’s too late. (Also lies) D: No, I didn’t get the tools! A: “Hey, Al, I think I’m gonna try to find the missing.” A: “Tools again.”
D: (Laughs) (Both laugh) A: Gee I don’t know- ugh-
D: Yeah yeah, alright yeah… A: The audience says yes.
D: Wasn’t there an attractive woman on their show with them? D: Wasn’t there an attractive woman on their show with them? A: Yeah.
D: Yeah. D: What could they not get-
A: For- A: For one season it was like… A: an actually po- it was like Jenny McCarthy or something. D: Woah, really?
A: an actually po- it was like Jenny McCarthy or something. D: Woah, really?
A: Yeah. A: and then they just switched it out for… A: people that I dunno… (trails off)
D: Sounds like contract negotiations. D: Sounds like contract negotiations.
A: Yeah. A: She’s like “I’m famous now can you pay me more?” A: and they’re like “Pfft. No!”
D: “Haha yeah, lot of fish in the sea, hon.” D: Alright. D: Let’s do this! A: Wait, how come when I was trying to kill myself earlier… A: … in the game… D: Uh huh? A: Uhh… A: It was- it just like let me- D: He’s totally- did- he d- he definitely didn’t just do coke. A: It just like- (Laughs)
D: (coked out) “AL THE TOOL CASE IS EMPTY. CALL SECURITY! CALL POLICE!” D: (coked out) “AL THE TOOL CASE IS EMPTY. CALL SECURITY! CALL POLICE!” D: Bop bop bop bop bop bop…
A: (Suspicioso)”Something’s different about you Tim.” D: “What are you talking about?” He’s got like fuckin D: ‘baby powder’ like from head to toe.
A: (tweaker noises) A: (tweaker noises) A: (tweaking) “WHAT YOU TALKIN ABOUT?!” A: (hyperventilating) A: T h e y ‘ r e e v e r y w h e r e (Both laugh) D: “Do you not see them!? The snakes! They’re all over me!” D: “Do you not see them!? The snakes! They’re all over me!”
A: “The ants! The ants and pterodactyls!” D: “They’re all on my skin!” A: (Laughs) This is just his coke dream! D: Aww, dude that-
A: It’s like- Crazy coked up nightmare. D: Now that’s a fuckin SNES game I’d like to play. A: (Laughs) Coke Dream? D: Yeah, Coke Dream: The Home Improvement game. D: Okay. D: Boy, this thing is kinda hard to-
A: Can you even A: Can you *even* get past this level? D: Oh, I don’t know. This is actually quite tough. D: Um…
A: Just like my dick when it’s hard from watching Home Improvement. A: Just like my dick when it’s hard from watching Home Improvement. D: You know what?
A: My hard dick! D: That’s a really good point. Arin. A: Yo, it gets me sexually aroused-
D: Ah! A: Yo, when Tim Allen does A: (Sexually arousing noises) A: It just makes me wanna CUUUUUM! D: (Laughs) D: You sure about that? A: I’m sure. 💯% sure baby. A: Shoot dat staple gun right at my dick A: SOUND me with that STAPLE gun! A: SOUND me with that STAPLE gun!
D: (Laughs) Shut the fuck up! D: (Laughs) Shut the fuck up! D: I gotta ge- D: I gotta get the- rid of the skull with the staple gun before the ant comes. D: I gotta get the- rid of the skull with the staple gun before the ant comes.
A: IT DOES! It looks like a skull! That’s what I was thinking! A: IT DOES! It looks like a skull! That’s what I was thinking! D: It’s not skulls?
A: I think it’s just a rock D: Oh, wow I thought it was like a wall of skulls. A: But you can’t- you can’t get rid of the pl- oh you oh watch out! D: I know I can’t-
A: Yeah cause you needed to jump on it. D: I know I d- uhh. D: Hup, okay. A: Yeaaaah!
D: (Attempted sexually arousing noises) D: Secret nuts~ A: I’M GONNA GET THE NUTS A: AEUAEUHHH???? D: Oh, those are spikes!
A: Yeah. D: Jesus!
A: It’s a problem. D: and fuckin screws and nuts fly from my bodus when I- when I’m injured. A: Oh!
D: and fuckin screws and nuts fly from my bodus when I- when I’m injured. A: It’s like Sonic the Hedger! D: Yeah, b- ohh, is that right? A: Your- Your nuts are your health.
D: Yeah, b- ohh, is that right? D: Am I- am I safe as long as I have uh- a fresh pair of nuts? A: Unless you have nuts, yeah!
D: Am I- am I safe as long as I have uh- a fresh pair of nuts? D: Okay. That’s good! A: Sonic the Horgy. D: Oh GOD!
A: OH! A: They split into tiny three ones! D: Jeez. Oh. A: This is just a show!
D: Jeez. Oh. A: It’s not- it’s not real. D: Yeah- this is bizarre, man. D: I can’t fuckin deal with this shit. A: You gotta get to the end. A: We gotta see the next stage.
D: There’s n- There’s nothing funnier to me than seeing the D: There’s n- There’s nothing funnier to me than seeing the D: the Tim Allen’s face times three. D: (Laughs) the- the life thing, like “Nyeh.” D: “Whattaboutit.” A: AEUHHH???? A: AEUHHH????
A: AEUHHH???? A: AEUHHH????
A: AEUHHH????
A: AEUHHH???? D: “Fuckin three of me.” A: How are you supposed to get up there? D: I don’t know!
A: Your grapple maybe? D: Oh, fuck. D: Oh my god. D: I can’t. D: It- it can’t break through the N U T S.
A: There’s no way. A: You don’t have enough POWER. A: You don’t have the strength. You don’t have enough skill.
D: I need more power. I need more power. D: I need more power. I need more power. A: Maybe you need more-
D: Arin! D: Give me more POWER.
A: I can’t do it. A: You gotta ask the audience for more po-
D: Oh! WOAH! A: What the fuck? D: Woah. Okay, okay. D: Could I bu- A: AEUI’M SCARED???? D: How do I-
A: AEUI’M SCARED???? D: It’s hard to build up like kinetic energy. D: Uhhh, UH- A: I don’t know if it’s possible. D: Yeah I guess not- oh okay, fuck it. A: Wow, look at that! A: Dude, you can go anywhere and do anything! D: Ow, fuck! Okay.
A: Dude, you can go anywhere and do anything! A: You can see clearly now that the rain is gone. D: Take a look! It’s in a book! D: A reading rainbow. A: You can see all the obstacles in your way. D: I can go anyw- we’re- we are singing different songs. A: *DEEP BREATH* A: ♪ I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW THE RAIN IS GONE ♪ A: *SING IT ARIN* A: ♪ I CAN SEE ALL OBSTACLES IN MY WAY ♪ D: Fuck! A: When you have more power. D: How do I get more POWER Arin!? A: I don’t fucking know Dan! D: Alright, stop YELLING at me!
A: I don’t fucking know Dan! D: Alright, stop YELLING at me! A: You’re the one who was yelling first!
D: Oh! D: Okay here we go, wait I can bust through these… D: these- they look like skulls to me. A: They do, they really do.
D: They do. D: Boy, this just shoots so randomly. D: I can’t- I can’t angle it correctly. A: It looks like a happy skull. It’s like “Mhmhm” D: Yeah like “Mehh, you know. I… could be worse.” A: All skulls are happy. D: That’s true. I never thought about it like that. A: Skeletons…
D: That’s true. I never thought about it like that. D: Skelemans. A: Skeletons are hilarious dude. D: Are they really?
A: I mean, I’ve talked about it before on the show- A: I mean, I’ve talked about it before on the show- D: They scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. A: You should just jump over there and do it.
D: They scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. D: I can’t do it. A: Then why are you fuckin- why are you goin after them if you can’t even jump over there. D: Oh, I can- Oh, I can get up here and jump in it.
A: Then why are you fuckin- why are you goin after them if you can’t even jump over there. D: Oh, I can- Oh, I can get up here and jump in it. A: Can- you can run.
D: Oh, I can- Oh, I can get up here and jump in it. D: Can I run?
A: Yeah. D: Oh my god, you’re right. D: *EXERTION* Ohh god, did you see those fuckin ups Tim Allen had? A: Dude, that was crazy.
D: *EXERTION* Ohh god, did you see those fuckin ups Tim Allen had? D: That was like- I was like- D: Fuckin D: Doin my own stunts in The Santa Clause 2. A: Use your jackhammer- he- did he really? D: Oh, ye- no.
A: Use your jackhammer- he- did he really? D: Oh god there’s so many- A: (Tim Allen on a jackhammer noises) D: I can’t jackhammer my way over. D: Ohh this game is too good. /s D: Umm…
A: (Laughs) D: Alright, let me try down here. A: Yeah sure.
D: Fuck it. D: God! I can’t get- ugh! A: You gotta get a little distance.
D: God! I can’t get- ugh! A: You gotta get a little distance. D: Alright.
A: There you go. D: I need a little more distance, but then I’m off screen! A: Can you aim it or?
D: Okay. Tink~ D: No, It just kinda does what it wants. A: Yeah I guess so huh? D: Okay, fuck it. A: It’s a great game. /s D: It is good! D: Shut up!
A: It’s a great one. Hey! OH! A: (Tim Allen the Undying noises) D: (Laughs) D: I don’t know how to aim down. A: There’s no way to aim down. D: There isn’t is there? A: No. A: You gotta use your like pipe bombs or whatever. A: Are you invincible right now? D: Am I?
A: Did you get the Sonic the Hedgehog invincibility? A: Did you get the Sonic the Hedgehog invincibility? D: I did a-
A: Can you crouch jump? A: Can you crouch jump? D: No. D: I can’t even… no. D: There’s a lot I can’t do. A: (Laughs)
D: There’s a- there’s a lot that leaves- D: There’s a- there’s a lot that leaves- D: Oh there we go. A: Oh that was a close one.
D: I just kinda have to wait. D: I just kinda have to wait until it decides to shoot down.
A: (Laughs) D: That’s cool. A: Oh look at that, more rocks to blow up. A: Oh look at that, more rocks to blow up.
D: Yeah A: Isnt that a joy? A: Isnt that a joy?
D: Droppin- Dropping those candy eggs. D: Droppin- Dropping those candy eggs. A: Isn’t that a treat? D: Woah, woah! My nuts!
A: Isn’t that a treat? D: Woah, woah! My nuts! A: Get those nuts dude, yeaah. D: I got ’em, I got ’em.
A: Get those nuts dude, yeaah. D: Woah, woah!
A: Woah!! A: Where the fuck did that come from!? D: More POWER bitch. A: Yo! A: You don’t even need that thing that you got on the show. D: Yeah… Yeah, right? Fuck! What am I even looking for? A: Binford should sponsor *this* show cause this is way better. D: Binfor- Oh god that’s a straight up dinosaur. A: Yeah, well you’ve been fighting straight up dinosaurs. D: Well, you know what? I flexed. So- A: (Tim Allen’s dinosaur offspring noises) D: (Panicked Daniel noises) A: No don’t get hit! Don’t get hit! D: Ah! Oh, I got a nut. I got a nut, I’m okay. A: You didn’t get a nut dude.
D: I didn’t get enough nuts. D: I got a screw but not a nut.
A: Yeeah, got a nut p- Oh! D: Please don’t bring me back to the-
A: Yeeah, got a nut p- Oh! A: You HAVE to get past this stage!
D: Fucking beginning! Alright, no no here you try it. You try. D: Fucking beginning! Alright, no no here you try it. You try. A: Oh my god dude. D: I’m- I’m- I’m like- I’m all jittery from frustration. A: I don’t even know how to-
D: I’m- I’m- I’m like- I’m all jittery from frustration. A: Oh my god this is horrible. D: And this Vanilla Coke I’m drinking. #notsponsored A: Look, you should have been using the fuckin crackle whip. A: To break the blocks.
D: Ohh, I forgot about the crackle whip. A: Jeez. A: You don’t fuckin know jack.
D: (Enjoying pure sugar) A: You don’t know diddly dick. D: Do you still have the crackle whip when you have the nail gun? A: Ya! D: You do… holy crystal craps. A: Wow, what are you eating? D: Yeah, all kinds of sugary shit. I’m about to tweak over here. A: Crystal craps?
D: Yeah. D: Crystal Crepsi. D: Crystal Crapsi. It was the- A: Wait what the-
D: Well nevermind. A: What I can’t do the-
D: I’m just losing my mind over here. A: What the fuck? A: Why is it a grapple hook now?
D: (Consumes more diabeetus) D: I don’t- isn’t it- aren’t the controls super weird? A: Oh, oh when you’re walking it’s the-
D: Like everything keeps changing in a weird- A: it’s the- the crackle whip.
D: Ohh. D: Mkay. A: Um, okay let me just- A: Yeah, this game controls- A: Like it’s actually pretty smooth to like move around and shit, D: But then to remember like all the weird shit
A: But then all the s- yeah all the stuff that you have D: Mhm.
A: is- is just like what is it? A: Oh I see-
D: All I know is D: for a fact, that some fuckin Home Improvement speedrunner will be watching this D: and loudly complaining in the comments like D: “UHM” D: “These guys didn’t even fuckin know how to use the nail gun and the drill at the same time as the grappling hook.” D: “also…” D: “what does…” D: “it feel like… to kiss?” (Both laugh) A: “What is love? Am I love?” D: “No. Timmy. You’re not love.” A: Come on. Come on. Come on. A: Shoot it. Shoot it. Yeaaah, got it.
D: Right? Isn’t that weird? D: It’s like “Any minute now.” D: Tink tink tink tink tink tink A: This is- This is what fun is. D: (Laughs) This is- D: This feels good. This feels right.
A: If- if- A: if a robot talked to me and asked me like A: “What is fun?” I’d be like “Just play this.” D: “What is fun? Am I fun?”
A: “You’ll understand a little bit.” A: and he’s like “oh-”
D: Four crates- A: Oh do you have to collect the crates?
D: Oh is your job- you’re- D: *That’s* what you’re supposed to be doing.
A: Are you fucking kidding me? D: I didn’t know that.
A: Well did I miss a crate? D: I don’t know. D: I don’t think so, I think you would have gone for it if you had seen one. A: That’s way easier.
D: Yeah. A: (Super Star Theme) D: Smash, smash.
A: (Super Star Theme) A: (Super Star Theme) D: (Laughs)
A: (Super Star Theme) A: (Super Star Theme) A: *OH GOD NO* A: AEUAEUAEUHHH???? D: Gotta kinda make your own fun with Home Improvement. A: Yeah, really.
D: Oh there’s the crate! A: I got one crate.
D: Yeah, woah! A: Red fish, blue crate.
D: Oh god! Oh you wanna get out of there. D: Oh god! Oh you wanna get out of there. D: Don’t even try to kill him, you’ll never do it. A: I- woah woah woah!
D: Woah! Hey, who knew? A: With the fire breath.
D: Who knew? A: Ooh a crate!
D: Oh, yeah. (Laughs) D: Great! A: Dude. Great crate, dude! Great crate. D: Hey, great crate. A: *POOT* A: Got it.
D: (Laughs) A: GOT ’em. GOTTI! A: Woo!
D: In your um- in your estimation: Home Improvement. Uhh, good game, best game? D: In your um- in your estimation: Home Improvement. Uhh, good game, best game? A: Best game. D: Yeah, best game. A: I was gonna say best game before you even suggested best game. D: Cool. A: So…
D: Yeah, you were fast. You were quick on the draw with that. D: Yeah, you were fast. You were quick on the draw with that. A: Chicka chicka chicka chicka A: Oh shit!
D: Watch out! Those are- those are spikes. A: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, gimme the bolts A: Gimme the bolts! Ohh no!
D: They may not look like- ohhh no A: No, nooOOOOOO!
D: You’re- you’re exposed- OOOOHHHH! A: YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT GARBAGE!!! D: Yeah, cause you freaked out. A: Is that- not all- ohhh thank God I spawned back here. D: You gotta- you gotta keep your cool.
A: Is that- not all- ohhh thank God I spawned back here. D: Yeah and you still have- D: the same amount of crates collected.
A: I spawn at the last crate. D: Ohhh, I never thought of that. D: Be careful.
A: Oh, come on ant. A: For fuck’s sake.
D: Oh God. Yeah. D: Woah!
A: Yeah, eat shit and die you fucking ant garbage. A: Yeah, eat shit and die you fucking ant garbage. D: You shot that thing- ohh there’s a crate up there!
A: There’s a crate! D: Oh my god. I don’t know.
A: How do I get up there? How is that- A: Ohhh.
D: Ohhh, I see it. D: I see it- woah, woah, woah.
A: (Mini panic noises) D: It’s better to just avoid those things. A: Good.
D: Yeah. D: Fuck ’em. Yeah.
A: Ah, damn it! D: Oh no! D: No, you’re okay. You can get hit one more tiiiiiime. Both: (Gun noises) A: I’m like the Terminator… A: …except I’m Tim Allen. D: (Laughs) D: (Terminator Theme) D: AEUHHH???? (Both laugh) A: (Timinator Theme) A: AEU… AEU… AEUHHH??? D: (Laughs) You’re really good at that actually. A: Yeah dude. D: Yeah… I know. A: What of it? D: I practiced all my life.
A: OH MY GOD D: You’re good, you got plenty of nuts. A: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
D: Ohhh you lost them all. A: No I don’t have plenty of- Ohhh no NO NO NONO
D: You lost all your nuts. A: OHH NOOO!! D: “You know, kids. You could help me collect crates, too.” A: For FUCK’s sake.
D: You know what, Arin- A: For fuck’s sake.
D: I hate to say it D: I think our Home Improvement odyssey may have come to an end. A: Ohh, dude but it’s so- A: It’s so good. No, but-
D: I know. I know. D: You wanna do one more? D: You can do one more if you want. A: Y E S D: Alright, fuck it.
A: See, it gives me another life. D: Okay. A: It gives me another- for some reason A: Last time we did it, it didn’t give us another life but for this time it did. D: No you just started the game over.
A: Last time we did it, it didn’t give us another life but for this time it did. A: No I didn’t.
D: Yeah, you don’t have anything. D: You have 500 score. A: No no no no no, I mean, yes but no. D: Yeah, and all the crates are back. A: No but, yeah I KNOW, but it- D: and you have 3 lives. A: I didn’t have to go to the title screen and go through the whole intro again. D: Game just started over. A: … A: That’s what I’m saying. D: (Laughs) A: The intro takes like 30 years. D: Ohhh, okay. Gotcha. A: Ah! Ah! A: Ah! Ah!
D: Ah! Oh. A: So fuckin floaty!
D: I know. A: (stutters) Ah! (stutters) Hams!
D: (Laughs) D: Damn these yams! D: Bless this mess! A: (Laughs) Bless this mess.
D: (Laughs) D: Fuck! Oh god. A: Give me screws.
D: Nah you gotta get those nuts! D: You don’t want the screws. A: No, the screws are good.
D: Oh screws are good? A: Yeah the screws are just nuts.
D: Ohh you lost all the screws. D: Oh you got a screw back. D: Thank God.
A: Would you die already!? D: Oh my-
A: I’m shooting nails at you! D: The g o l d e n h a m m e r A: I’m shooting nails upon your brow! D: Well, you know what? D: Dinosaurs are b-
A: DAAGH! D: Dinosaurs are big and you’d need a lot of nails to take them out. D: That makes sense. That makes sense to me.
A: Yeah. Sure. Okay. Great. Yeah, that makes sense to me too! D: GOOD! A: You know what else makes sense?
D: What? A: For you to shut the FUCK UP! D: Okay! Maybe I g- maybe I will! D: Alright. D: Shutting up now. A: No Dan please. Dan please.
D: Have fucking fun! D: (Laughs) A: Dan keep talking. Please. I need you. A: Oh no. A: Uh, welcome back to uh- Game Grumps: Just the Arins. D: Someone was telling (Laughs)
A: Ah shit. D: Someone was telling me, like one of my buds D: was saying how funny it would be if like D: Um… D: you did the 14 episodes of Chrono Trigger, that day I was sick D: and then at the very end of the 14th episode, I was just like D: “Hey man” D: and you were like “What!?” D: and I was like “Yeah, I’ve literally been here the entire time.” A: “Oh shit.” D: “When are we gonna start the episodes?” D: and you were just like “aeuhhh?” A: AEUHHH???? Both: (Home Improvement Theme outro) A: (Tim the Tazmanian Tool Man Noises) D: and then you were like “You’re not getting paid for this.” (Both laugh) D: Just something like really uncool at the end D: “PAY YOUR FUCKIN RENT BURGIE!” A: (Laughs) Yeah!
D: Like that shit. A: Eh D: Woahoah!
A: Die die die die die die die! D: Oh it’s gonna take a long time.
A: Die die die die die die die! D: Many nails.
A: Die die die die die! D: Many nails in the dinosaur.
A: Die die die die die die die! A: Wait maybe when he’s- maybe when invincible I can just walk right through him. D: You could just have jumped away, through the-
A: Oh god, oh god! D: Well, alright.
A: No no no- A: because then I would have to loop back around. D: Oh god. Yeah no we can’t have that-
A: Yeah, I don’t want that. D: Woah! A: Uh it’s a new area. D: *RALPH* A: Like a- WOAH! Secrets dude!
D: Woah! This is some Metroid shit! Yeah! A: Oh my g- LOOK AT MY CHAINSAW! D: Yeah! Dude this is about to get fuckin-
A: What the fuck!? D: it’s about to get massacre-y in here.
A: Holy God! D: Are you- you should turn it on, you should do like the (chainsaw noises) A: Well I gotta get somewhere first.
D: Oh okay. A: Can I get up there- how do I- how do I?
D: Maybe you can chainsaw your way through. D: Now that you’re a crazy fuckin chainsaw-wielding nutcase. A: Um, I don’t think so.
D: Nope. A: WOAH.
D: Woah! D: Woah, that is not what chainsaws do.
A: That is not a regular type chainsaw. D: Oh yeah you gotta- D: There you go, yup.
A: Cool, that’s way better. D: So much better. A: Dammit.
D: Okay. D: There you go.
A: I gotta like delay it a little bit. A: Okay, maybe that’ll work. A: Oh for fucking fuck’s sake! D: Yeah the ones at the ground are bitches.- A: Go dick my lick! D: (Laughs) Okay great. There we go. D: Flex it bitch. One crate left.
A: Okay cool. One crate left. D: It has to- it’s gotta be to the right.
A: Where’s the last crate? A: but… how do I get over there? D: I don’t fucking know man! This is a nightmare. It’s gotta be the grappling hook. A: but the- but wh- D: Oh yeah there it is, I just saw the crate.
A: but how do I- A: Oh my god are you serious?
D: Yeah it’s right up there. A: but how do I get over there!?
D: (exasperated) Oh my god Arin. I don’t fucking know. A: It’s impossible!
D: Yeah, they- there- they didn’t program any other part of this game. D: Yeah, they- there- they didn’t program any other part of this game. D: They just-
A: Is- is it up here? A: Is- is there a little path up he- oh there is! A: Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh no!
D: Yeah, they we’re banking on the fact that no one would wanna play Home Improvement beyond 8 minutes. A: Ah fuck! A: Oh my god! I’m so close! A: Noo!
D: Nah, not really. A: Yes! Ah shit! (Laughs)
D: Yeah! There we- aww, alright. A: (Laughs) Damn it!
D: (Laughs) A: Tim Allen!
D: Yeah. D: You’re crazy Tim Allen! A: (Tiny Tim noise) D: Yeah! (Laughs) D: Oh god! More dinosaurs!
A: I’ve done it! I’ve done it! D: To kill with chainsaws! A: Ah. Oh shit! But I- ah but I gotta get him!
D: No, don’t worry about him. Don’t die! You’re gonna die. D: You don’t. A: I- I do!
D: You have n- he has nothing to do with anything. A: Oh no, oh no! Ho no! Ho no! Oh no! A: Oh, come on with the fuckin this shit! D: Where he at? Where he at? There he go!
A: That’s so unfair! D: Oh woah! So many ants!
A: Yeaah! Fuck you ants! A: YEAAAHH! I got the crates! Woo! Woo!
D: (clapping) A: Look at all these screws I’m gettin! Oh they’re throwing screws at me left and right!
D: Oh man! This would- A: This would kill me. I would be dead.
D: It’s- yeah, yeah- D: This is a straight up nut party. A: I’d be a deadman. D: and not the kind of nut party you’ll find if you look it up on Google search images A: and- and it may or may not be A: a tall, lanky man A: with- with curly hair. Slightly jewish looking.
D: Yeah, yeah. A: Named Dan. In the picture.
D: Named Nathaniel. Flavidan. A: (Laughing) Fla- na- Nathaniel Flavidan?
D: Yeah! D: I’ve seen that guy around. D: He’s sexy. (Laughs)
A: (Laughs) A: He gives me lots and lots of penis girth.
D: WOAH! A: Hey, wo- OOOOKAY.
D: Oh, OOOHHH. Fuck. A: Alright, fine.
D: Alright. A: (stammering) I wanna see what the next stage is, but apparently I have-
D: You’re there! It looks shockingly like the first stage. A: Yeah, but I know there’s like ano- it’s like “Oh, we gotta go on the Home Shopping Network channel now.” A: Instead of the- it can’t *all* be dinosaurs!
D: Now that we’ve fought the dinosaurs? D: I don’t know it could be dinosaurs.
A: You think the whole thing is dinosaurs? D: I think the whole thing is different sets on like the Warner Brothers lot.
A: Well that’s what I’m saying, like what are the other sets? D: So it’s probably like, fuckin… one in Paris, one in like Jaws like an ocean… kind of thing-
A: Like film noir? D: It’s Tim Allen in various settings! We could just have Matt photoshop- D: In fact, Matt and Ryan, please photoshop Tim Allen in various settings. Thank you. A: Ooh wow that one’s nice. Oh what about that- ooh yeah. Ooh yeah nice!
D: Oh. Oh wow, Japan! Watch out for Godzilla! A: That’s not Godzilla he’s a… plant.
D: Okay. D: No, no I was say- I was saying in the things that Matt and Ryan were doing.
A: I am so weak! Oh I didn’t- D: Meanwhile, probably just to spite me they put him in medieval times fighting King Kong.
A: (Laughs) D: Just to make me look like a asshole.
A: (Laughs) D: I know what you’re up to Matt and Ryan. A: You make me look like a asshole.
D: You cock smokers. A: You are a asshole.
D: (Laughs) D: You *is* a asshole.
A: Oh shit, yeah! D: I didn’t think I’d have to correct your grammar on the show but here we are. A: (Laughs) Look it’s ‘is’ not o- ‘are’. It’s- wait hold on- D: Oh, oh, oh, oh, OH. This looks just gross to me.
A: Oh it’s mu- it’s mucky goop, dude! A: It’s mucky goop.
D: Yeah. It’s goopy muck muck. A: Is that a dead- a dead- de- dead area?
D: Ooh a POWER up. D: Do you feel powerful? A: N O D: Okay. A: I feel inept and unable.
D: (Laughs) D: Great!
A: I feel- I feel crippled! A: from my- my lack on anything in this game.
D: Do think Tim Allen likes this game? A: Kill, kill, kill.
D: Do think Tim Allen likes this game? A: Oh yeah. I’m sure he fuckin A: brought it home to his kids and was like “Check me out!” A: Uh oh I’m gonna die if he hits me.
D: and they were like “Ugh.” A: “I hate this. I hate this, this game is AWFUL.”
D: Yeah. (Laughs) D: Do you think like- he was like “Jesus fucking Christ this game sucks.” D: and his kids ran into the room with a towel and a- and a spray bottle and were just like D: “It’s okay dad.” D: (spray bottle noises) D: I think so. I like to think that’s what happened. A: Wait, I’m at the mercy of the audience that [sic] what happened.
D: Where’s Wilson? D: Where’s neighbor Wilson? A: This isn’t about his home life dude, it’s about Tool Time- IT BROUGHT ME BACK TO 1-1! D: My name is neighbor Wilson and I’m here to say- (Laughing) Nevermind. Alright! Next time on Game Grumps! D: Mo- uh, less of this, more of everything else.
A: Holy dick. A: HOLY dick.
D: There might be some holy dick next time on Game Grumps. D: You’ll never know unless you tune in.
A: Holy fuckin dick D: See you then everybody!
A: ALL the way back. A: To stage 1-1.
D: Buh-bye! A: Fuck it. D: Hey Arin, if you could sum this game up in one word what would it be? A: Suckmydick. D: Huh, thought it was gonna be aeuhhh??? but, you know what? D: Suckmydick said really fast into one word is just fine. D: I’ll allow it. A: AEUHHH???? D: THERE it is!
A: AEUHHH???? D: (Home Improvement Theme outro) D: Suckmydick. (Both laugh) A: Home Improvement has been canceled. D: (Laughs)

100 thoughts on “Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit – Game Grumps

  1. This playlist starts at #5 (the one-offs playlist). Did Game Grumps have to remove some of their old content or something?

  2. I'm still crossing my fingers that they play DinoCity one day.

    I've had a copy of that stupid game since I was 6 and didn't know anyone else had even heard of it until I saw Jon's review.

  3. Grunt times:
    0:40
    1:08
    1:30
    2:03
    3:38
    4:10
    5:00
    5:27
    7:58
    (Danny's sad one: 8:28)
    8:30
    9:10
    9:36
    11:04
    11:28
    12:24
    14:52
    (Danny's okay one: 16:23)
    16:25
    (Danny's s o f t one: 18:43)
    18:44
    18:49
    21:07
    (Danny's confused one: 25:00)
    25:08
    You're welcome.

  4. 21:07 Is Arin at this moment playing a SNES Home Improvement Game as Tim Allen using a lightsaber chainsaw to fight a raptor Arin Fuck! Dan Arin, what do you have to say about this game? Arin FUKING GEEEEEEEENNNNNIIIIIIUUUUUUUSSSSS!!! Jon rushes in Arin, I've played that game before and you know what I said at that moment? Arin/Dan( tolazyforseperatedealug) HOLY CRAP! JON WHAT ARE YOU DOING AND ALSO WHAT DID YOU SAY WHICH HAD NO IMPORTANCE WHAT SO EVER SINCE LEFT GAME GRUMPS(Spread your wings Jon (probably never being a guest on guest grumps or whateves but that's ok) Jon EUMMMMheummmvvvvv… SHIET!

    Thank you for reading this pointless bullshit and I've probably wasted time in your life that you'll never get back and this just got sad so have great life and be happy (R.I.S.M(Rest in Skank Marmelade )Trump) Anyway that's all, see ya. 😉

  5. Did anyone had that feeling in the back of their minds that Dan was really annoyed at Arin's EERRRUUUGH? Just me? Okay

  6. Play majoras mask
    play twilight princess
    Play L.A.NOIRE
    PLAY bully
    Play metal gear solid 2
    Play gun
    Play dead to rights
    play red dead redemption

  7. Wait, a turbo ripper, ripper like the fallout weapon? Yeah, it is, the blueprint even looks like it

  8. Diy Smart Saw – Brand New Offer Crushes Cold Traffic
    All problem solution are here bay this product click this link https://bit.ly/2JJMPD9

  9. When I was little, this was one of the few games my grandma had for her SNES. As a result, I played it a lot. This video inspired me to emulate the game to relive my old memories, and I just gotta say…

    …it was garbage.

  10. THATS A LOT OF NUTS!
    that'll be four bucks baby, YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT???
    hahaha i love every kung pow reference.
    this is such a classic ep haha

  11. “Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist” is actually one of my mom’s favorite stupid-funny movies that I’ve shown her!!! She actually quotes it often, too!!!

  12. 5:54 Dan: THATS ALOT OF NUTS!
    i immediately start saying the rest of it, and get louder and gigglier when Arin continues it THAT'LL BE FOUR BUCKS BABY! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?!?!?!??! XD my god i love them

  13. 2 years late to this and all but season one it was Pam Anderson, from then on it was Debbie Dunning (who imo is hotter). The more u know. Lol

  14. I feel like if this game hadn't been based on a really stupid licensed property it might've been a pretty good platformer

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