Home Alone Characters: Evil to Good


with Christmas finally here what kind of
Scrooge McRib II if we didn’t release a Christmas theme to good to evil episode
and what better holiday choice then what I would argue is the greatest Christmas
movie ever made home alone after all there’s nothing more festive than
watching a little boy who has been abandoned by his family ruthlessly
defend his home against home invaders using all sorts of violent means no
seriously regardless of how the plot sounds this
movie puts you in the holiday spirit like no other film and with such a great
cast of characters who range all over the moral spectrum we had to give it the
good to evil treatment and yes we’re including the sequel home alone – lost
in New York and no we’re not including home alone 3 you uncultured swines side
now this time since I think the most evil characters are the most obvious so
we’re gonna flip it around start with the evil and end with the
good I’m Kyle with wicked bench and this is home alone evil – good and you wish
motion my brother ok first up let’s get the most evil out of the way obviously
we gotta go with Harry it goes without saying that Harry is a thief someone
who’s willing to steal from anyone whether it’s stealing from families on
Christmas or even a toy store that has its profits going to a Children’s
Hospital as charity I mean that is a pretty reprehensibly low morale bar but
there’s more Harry’s personality is absolutely terrible he is angry cold and
bitter he seems to have a really detestable outlook on everything around
him in which he’s completely comfortable stealing from and screwing over anyone
who gives him the opportunity you open your mouth and you’ll be
spitting gum out – euphoria and let’s not forget how violent he is I get that
he was angry after enduring a house of traps but we really can’t feel sorry for
him given the fact that he’s a criminal targeting a house with only a child in
it he chases an 8 year old in his own house threatens him with violence and
then when he finally catches him he tries to bite off each of his fingers
one at a time what an absolute psychopath and let’s not forget in home
alone – he pulled an illegal handgun on kevin and attempted to kill him with it this guy is a monster and deserves to be
put in prison for the rest of his life his own fear of going into a church
seems to represent the fact that he’s clearly aware of how evil he is maybe
when the church not called now let’s move on to his partner Marv part of me
wanted to try to find a way to rank Marv as a bit less evil mainly because of how
moronic he is we just broke out of prison a few days ago my thinking was
maybe his stupidity was enough to shock him up as easily influenced by his
smarter partner but no he’s almost as bad as Harry
yeah he’s stupid but he’s not mentally ill or handicapped so he is most
definitely responsible for his actions and although Marv isn’t as violent as
his partner he absolutely has no problem chasing a child in an attempt to rob him
it’s Santa Claus and itself at the start of home alone – he also alludes to
murdering Kevin when they bump into him and he has no problem watching his
partner try to bite off his fingers in addition to all that Marv seems to have
a real genuine love of thievery and crime turning on water faucets in
people’s houses to further ruin their property just because what I’m saying is
Marv deserved every brick of what happened to
now next up is Uncle Frank and I was really considering giving this scumbag
the number two spot but he without a doubt deserves the bronze dirtbag medal what an absolute horrible personality on
this guy let’s break it down he treats everyone around him terribly and we only
see him interact with his own family imagine how he treats people outside of
his circle he’s also a leash you better not wreck my trip you little
sour puss your dad’s paying good money for it what’s the matter Uncle Frank you
can’t help your little brother out by paying for some of those pizzas
you cheap jerk my brother’s house he’ll take care of it oh and let’s not forget
that he goes on vacation on his little brothers dime and still acts like a
total a-hole Kevin’s right to call him out on being a cheapskate and also who
talks to an eight-year-old child let alone your own nephew like this little
jerk and for what for spilling something he also responds to the realization that
the family forgot Kevin with comparing the situation to him forgetting his
reading glasses makes you feel any better I forgot my reading glasses
showing us that he doesn’t even care about the well-being of his nephew and
let’s not gloss over the fact that he just Kayode his own kid with a chair and
didn’t give an F Uncle Frank is a scumbag but moving on to another scumbag
brilliantly played by Tim Curry we have the concierge yes Kevin wasn’t supposed
to be using his dad’s credit card but how does he know that he’s way too
suspicious of Kevin for no reason the moment he pops up on screen then when he
found out that there was something wrong instead of confronting Kevin like a
normal person would interact with a child
he scares him and chases him away into dangerous New York City stolen credit
card next up we have a bit of a controversial choice I’m throwing in
both of Kevin’s parents Kate and Peter McCallister and just to be clear his
mother is worse without question it’s too late get upstairs now I know
this might sound harsh yes buzz and the other kids are jerks – Kevin directly
but Kevin’s pear are terrible on and off throughout these
two movies and they aren’t his siblings or his cousins they’re his frickin
parents yes the movies end with sentimental moments but that doesn’t
take away from the fact that both of them continuously single Kevin now and
buried him in front of everyone else despite the fact that Kevin is one of
the youngest kids they side with buzz who’s older and obviously always the
aggressor it was very nice they punished Kevin
despite the fact that the stuff he does is always out of defense for himself
against buzz in the first movie the mess was caused because buzz was taunting and
poking at Kevin sure Kevin pushed him but he’s half his size in the sequel
buzz humiliated Kevin in front of everyone and as a result caught these
hands why are they so harsh on Kevin but forgiving of buzz when you’re ready to
apologize to Buzz into the rest of the family you come down and what’s the deal
with banishing him to the Attic not once but twice Kevin you walk out of here you
sleep on the third floor what a weird thing to do and when Kevin claims
everyone in the family hates him his mother doesn’t even deny it
anyone family hates me maybe you should ask to Santa for a new family there is
obviously a real issue with neglect towards Kevin in the family and even
after his parents seemed to learn their lesson at the end of the first movie
they revert back to treating Kevin like garbage in the sequel also going back to
cheapskate scumbag Uncle Frank how the actual hell would you ever let
your idiot leach brother / brother-in-law
talk to your kid like this little jerk Uncle Frank should have got a smack in
the mouth but no nothing no consideration to even defend a little
Kevin who literally just spilled some milk okay a terrible one Cate and how
about this old couple I get not being able to give up your plane ticket maybe
you have to get home to family totally understandable but are you really gonna
make the desperate mother at the airport who wants to get home to her kid give
you a watch earrings first-class ticket $500 cash and whatever else serving a
watch a pocket translator $500 I’ll say the word again
scumbags okay buzz is up next and really he’s the younger family member who’s
noticeably worse than the rest of the already crappy relatives don’t you know
how to knock phlegm wad was is a bully who like his parents likes to target
Kevin specifically why he’s such a jerk I don’t know but everything he does the
Kevin just seems mean-spirited even by Big Brother standards he antagonizes him
humiliates him in public and then reacts with total apathy when
he finds out his brother was left behind and possibly in danger officer balls arc
is next but really you can probably include every incompetent police officer
in these movies seriously this cop knocks on the door a couple times and
determines that nobody’s home despite all the lights being on and you’re
telling me there’s no follow-up police report at the end of the first movie
really really low standards in this department but this guy this guy’s job
is to protect and serve and he responds to a pretty serious issue of a child
being left alone with total apathy you want us to go to your house just to
check on ya do you just sit there we wouldn’t want a child safety to get in
the way of your doughnuts we’re throwing in the bellmen here too
aka Rob Schneider he seems like he might be alright at first until he starts
snooping around in Kevin’s bag when he’s not looking
what are you looking for a guy who snoops in a kid’s bag another scumbag
that’s who okay I’m gonna do my best to rank the rest of the McCallister’s here
Jeff and Lenny are the worst of the remaining relatives Kevin you’re such a
disease sure they jumped on the let’s bully Kevin bandwagon too and target him
exclusively would the French call Liz incompetent
oh really Lenny because you’re what Americans call of King atoll now fuller
is a young child but make no mistake he uses his bedwetting as a direct act of
domestic terrorism on the family look at how he looks at Kevin when someone tells
them to not drink so much soda most of the other relatives can be ranked
together as neutral mainly because we don’t see much from them in terms of
good or bad this includes rod Tracy Brooks Sandra and Heather there isn’t
really much we can say about them given their lack of personality one way or
the other we’d say that Leslie is a decent person and I suppose we could
shock her up on the good side but in all honesty based on her actions I’d say
she’s pretty neutral and if she is good she gets docked a point for marrying
scumbag Uncle Frank guilt by association I say next her on the list is Donald
Trump he’s only onscreen for like ten seconds
and he’s already assisting our hero what a guy I guess he should probably be
ranked as neutral as well but hey at least he made an attempt to
be a decent person to Kevin here unlike most of the McCallister’s now Megan
we’re gonna defend enough to actually label her as the first overall good
person on the list yes she’s mean to her brother early on but later when it’s
revealed that he’s been forgotten unlike buzz she shows true genuine
concern about his safety he’s a little and helpless do you think he’s flipped
out so Megan is a good egg unlike the rest of her family ah finally we’re at
some genuinely good people we cannot forget about Gus Polinski polka king of
the Midwest polka polka polka oh there’s nothing bad you can say about this guy
he went out of his way to reach out to Kevin’s mom at the airport because he
knew that something was wrong and didn’t think twice to offer her a
ride because he was genuinely concerned about the well-being of her son then
again anyone John Candy plays is probably gonna be the most likeable
character in any movie moving on to old man Marley despite the
terrifying rumors that buzz tells Kevin old man Marley isn’t a murderer he’s
just a quiet old man who has become distant to his family he’s friendly to
Kevin and even as a real genuine conversation with him which doesn’t seem
like much but there’s a respect there that Kevin clearly hasn’t gotten
elsewhere and of course we can’t leave out the fact that he saved Kevin from
having his fingers bitten off by cousin Vinnie the only reason that were ranking
him lower than pigeon lady is because he really makes no attempt to not creep
Kevin out in the store pigeon lady is next and really she acts as the same
character type as old man Marley in the sequel she
a compassionate good person and most importantly she puts her own life in
danger to save Kevin’s life from two violent criminals in Central Park one of
whom had a gun this tells you a lot about her character and gives her the
bronze medal of good but the silver medal goes to mr. Duncan the guy who
runs the toy store in home alone – everything about this guy’s personality
and behavior is pure obviously he scores big points for donating all the money
the store takes in on Christmas Eve to charity but we know that it’s far more
than just a tax deduction for him just listening to him talk about how the
charitable act brings joy to him is all you need to hear to know this guy is a
wonderful person and once again we have someone who treats Kevin with great
respect and Kevin’s own kind deed donating money to the charity as well is
enough to warm his heart showing that being a good person is all that this
guy’s about okay so there’s only one spot left and we’ve missed the movie’s
most important character so I’m sure you know who’s getting the gold medal for
good the most good character in home alone is none other than Kevin but how I
hear many of you asked more good than old man Marly and pigeon lady who
selflessly rescued Kevin from danger more good than mr. freaking Duncan who
just wants to donate money to charity more good than the Polka king of the
Midwest yes and I’ll explain why as we’ve discussed Kevin’s family is
terrible and his parents neglect him in various ways he’s also bullied by
siblings and he’s treated like a second-class family member by everyone
around him yet he still acts with great moral character and that’s not even
factoring in the fact that he is eight or nine years old mr. Duncan is great
sure but he’s had his whole life to build up to that level of moral purity
but Kevin already has it he donates money to mr. Duncan’s charity too
because he genuinely believes it’s the right thing to do so you can give this
to mr. Duncan the hospital needs more than I do not to
mention the fact that he helps others out with their problems
offering oddly sagely advice to old man morally and pigeon lady what’s your
point and here’s the big thing the end of home alone too
doesn’t involve Harry and Marv coming after Kevin organically Kevin lures them
into a house to bring justice to them for stealing from charity because he
knows that the charity is a great moral cause he puts his own life in grave
danger to protect it Kevin is essentially a vigilante at this point
fighting on the side of good now some people have pointed out that Kevin’s
traps are too violence both in the first movie and in the sequel but I don’t hold
any of this against him at all kevin has the right to be territorial
with defending his home from invaders in fact I would argue that there is more
moral character and backbone in standing and fighting them like he did than
running to the police kevin is a young man of great integrity a vigilante who
is cleaning up the streets of evildoers all while offering people around him
great advice and having high enough moral character to forgive his family
for treating him so poorly I guess what he did to the pizza delivery guy was
kind of screwed up but boys will be boys anyway what do you think who is the most
good and evil characters in home alone 1 & 2 don’t forget to binge watch our full
good to evil playlist where we analyze the morality of your favorite shows
cartoons and movies but most importantly Merry Christmas you filthy animal
and a Happy New Year

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