Being The Non-Drinker In The Room with Jamie & Shaaba! // Vlogmas 2019 Day 4

Being The Non-Drinker In The Room with Jamie & Shaaba! // Vlogmas 2019 Day 4


100 thoughts on “Being The Non-Drinker In The Room with Jamie & Shaaba! // Vlogmas 2019 Day 4

  1. Due to how news stations would present murder stories as a kid(probably do it the same way now) as the murderer being drunk and murdering both his parents, combined with the amount of media showcasing what happens when you're an alcoholic, personal experiences with alcohol(having a mother who was an alcoholic, who also died from deliberately mixing alcohol and countless pills of sleeping medication), seeing how obsessed people were in high school(sister would sneak it to school and also steal it from our legal guardians)and the fact I can't drink too much without it risking some sort of bad combination with the medications I am taking- I don't really partake in alcohol, other than to sip it.

    But in my culture there is a lot of emphasis on alcohol. There are always parties for younger people, and my sister and other students had problems with mixing it and school for some reason? When my sister was more or less my legal guardian for a brief period, our oldest sister had to make her stop going out at night for the parties she was doing because it heavily impacted her daily mood. I don't really go to bars or to parties, since I'm more of an internet person than an irl person, so I wouldn't know about the party culture other than what I assume and from what my sister tells me. But as far as I can tell, a good portion of adult gatherings in Southern US does involve alcohol to an extent.

    On my 21st birthday I drank maybe a can of some sort of cherry flavored alcohol, had a headache even though I thought I was drinking enough water, and that is my only experience with drinking more than a few sips of alcohol.

    I love Jamie and Shaaba! I'll have to check them out.

  2. As a non-drinker, I do believe it is time for me to find the trans events in my community, just so I can have some non-alcohol based events to go to! I’m a lawyer, and I don’t know how it is in England, but in the US, every legal event revolves around alcohol. Yes, it can be entertaining to be the only sober one in a room, but that mostly goes for being with a group of friends who say hilarious things that you can tease them about forever. Being the only sober one in a room full of professional contacts is very, very dull.

    I don’t drink because 2 attempts before I was of legal drinking age both ended with violent vomiting minutes after starting to sip the drink. I asked a doctor who told me it is a genetic inability to digest alcohol due to an extra enzyme or a missing one (I’m 62 and I’ve never been able to remember which!) In all the years since, I’ve twice been handed a drink I didn’t realize was alcoholic and both ended abruptly the same way as my earlier attempts.

    I used to just say “I don’t drink” but that led to a lot of people quizzing me on why I didn’t drink. Then the concept of designated driver was developed, and for awhile, I could just say that I was the DD for the evening and that would do it. Then people went back to challenging me. So I’ve changed my approach to a more brutal one – I say “I am genetically incapable of digesting alcohol. If you give me a drink I don’t realize is spiked, I will give it back in under 5 minutes, possibly on your shoes.” That usually stops the conversation entirely but it also stops people trying to sneak alcohol into something I’m drinking.

    I also hate all soft drinks so I’m usually drinking straight water. Like Jessica, I need to drink pretty steadily throughout the day, and often through the night too. I don’t drink 8 liters though; probably 3 or 4 on an average day. And I can tell you that people with chronic dry mouth, whether due to genetics or medication side effects, can expect to pay way more in dental expenses than other people. I just try not to think about it!

    And just a hint about groups involving parents – parents of young children often drink as a coping mechanism. One of the two spiked drinks I was unknowingly given was at the day care for all 3 of our young kids – it was a parent & child evening holiday potluck and was the last place I expected alcohol to be served. When I pointed that out to the staff later on, they said that given the choice between an evening at home with alcohol or an evening party with other parents without alcohol, people uniformly chose the former.

    My family drink with my parents drinking far more than any of their kids ever have. One sister doesn’t like the taste or the risk of losing control, and the other drinks in extremely limited situations and never very much. My parents had “drink time” when my dad got home from work and wine with dinner became more and more of a thing as time went by. My genetic inability to handle alcohol is spontaneous, and while it can be inherited, my 3 kids don’t seem to have got it. One enjoys wine, one is strongly affected by even a little wine and has never tried anything stronger, and one just hates the taste of everything tried to date.

    The genetic oddity shows up around the world, but is most common in Japan (in terms of distribution as an absolute percentage of population.) It is considered a major affliction for men because business dinners involve a lot of alcohol. In the US, many people agree with my husband when he says “the moment I found out she couldn’t drink was the moment I decided to marry her” So the idea of a permanently sober driver is appealing, apparently!

    I really found this episode unexpectedly informative because I had no idea that Pride events were so alcohol driven, and I’m really interested that trans events tend not to have it be such a central part of events.

  3. Norway has a really awfull drinking culture too. Everyone getting super drunk at parties is kinda the norm, especially among young people (18 is the legal drinking age, but a lot of people in my home town started drinking at 15). I've never tried alcohol, simply because I never felt like drinking. Kinda sucks to be the only none drinker, expecially since I'm quite introverted and not good at small talk lol.

    Luckily, I now have a couple of good friends who also don't drink. One of them being like me (never tried), and the other one stopped drinking recently, because she felt a lot better without alcohol. I don't see them super often, but we met last weekend and went out to a restaurant eating pizza, and it was super nice!

  4. Alcohol has been the only painkiller that consistently works.
    Most of the time I just try to limit the pain but honestly if someone is asking me to socialize after a long day on my feet alcohol really helps.

  5. I loved Jamie's channel but he insists on using auto captions but mumbling and whispering in almost all his videos. I tried to keep watching but unfortunately it was just inaccessible to me.

  6. I really enjoyed the video! I very very rarely drink alcohol, normally I am the designated driver so that tends to work for me because people want me to stay sober!

  7. I'm not a big drinker at all. I used to not drink at all, but now I might have a glass of something occasionally. But never beer because it is so gross! Drinking has never been a big thing in my immediate family, so I think it was just natural for me to not. I also don't like the taste of most alcohol and am way too much of a control freak to want my inhibitions lowered.

  8. I also don’t drink, it’s also something that a TON of people in the US think is very odd. I literally told someone five times I don’t drink as they were asking me what wine I preferred. I told them I don’t drink and even when I did I’ve always disliked wine. “oh, you’ll like this one!” Shoves cup into hand. Luckily it was dark out so as they were drunkenly babbling at me I was able to subtly pour the wine out. 😩 So annoying when people don’t respect your decisions- especially something that can lead to an addiction as it has done with so many people. 🙄 Lovely video, so nice to see likeminded people.💗

  9. OK! Now I know there is a term for what I am! I don't like drinking at all, but I totally understand Jamie watching all the other drunk people and their hilarity!!! 🙂

  10. Ahhhhh!! It’s like my two favorite channels and all my favorite people hanging out in one placeeeee. ❤️❤️❤️

  11. loved it! very fun! ive always been a weirdo party animal hyperactive sort of person and during youth it kinda sucked because people were so fixated on being 'cool' that i ended up only having fun by myself, so even though i dont drink i like drunk parties better because i do indeed ft in with all the other people losing themselves to do whatever, i usually accept the first drink and just sp at it very very veeery slowly so that then i can find a drunk person and give them the rest of it like i got it for them XD when i do actually drink i end up fighting people :/ so that just added to the dislike i already had for the taste and the consequences ^~^'' i wish i were a more collected person so that i could at least pull the designated driver card and not just negotiating my way out of shots or chugging

  12. My biggest annoyance about not drinking is the lack of respect from others when you say you don’t drink and don’t really have a reason beyond “I don’t want to”/“I don’t like it”. If offered a drink, after some persistence, they eventually try for a soft drink instead but I only drink water really, which is free, and I have to ask for no lemon so I’d sooner do it myself. I just don’t want or need other people to get me any kind of drink, ever, but they always feel obliged and like I’m the one in the wrong for refusing.

  13. I drink but I'm also the only one of my friends with a driver's license and a car (no transit available), so I'm automatically the designated driver!

  14. I'm always happy to see people talking about not drinking. I don't know how it compares to England, but being a non-drinker in North America feels similarly alienating, so I really appreciate seeing a conversation with three other non-drinkers (and one Claudia, because she's always good in a video). I drank a bit when I turned 19 (the legal age in Canada), but by the time I was 20 I stopped pretty much permanently. I tell people it's because when I was drinking, I got drunk one time and didn't dismiss the idea of driving while impaired outright, and I don't trust myself when I've shown my judgement can get so impaired (if anyone is worrying, I didn't actually drive – I just considered it and another friend outright forbid it, something for which I am eternally grateful). While that is technically true, the fact is that for years I was worried that if I drank, I'd come out as trans while I was drunk before I was ready, so I didn't let myself drink out of fear of that. I've since come out and am living my life the way I'm most comfortable, but the not drinking has stuck, and I'm pretty content to live a life where I don't get drunk.

    This has been storytime with a random person in the YouTube comments!

  15. As a non drinker i can relate! its good to hear you talk about it and to know some of my fave youtubers share that in common!

  16. I get cluster headaches between Oct and March and cannot drink (though otherwise I am a one-a-week drinker). One of the few reliably identifiable triggers of cluster headaches is alcohol, and unfortunately my cluster period falls in prime drinking/party time. I live in Idaho in a very productive wine region and work in a large hospitality business, so it seems every holiday party and every outing is at a winery, a brewery, a tasting room, or an event location that heavily features local alcoholic beverages. If you don’t participate, you’re “not supporting the local economy.” (eyeroll) It can feel rather exclusionary.

    As an introvert, someone who is probably already feeling bad from the medication side effects, and who additionally feels seasonal effects of bipolar 2 (not to mention I don’t celebrate Christmas!), I’m pretty much just avoiding holiday parties or skipping out early. Otherwise I just grab a hot cocoa and gab with the rest until the party gets too rowdy, then I’m on my way. I’m glad for my introversion and general overfrugality in this case only so I don’t feel like I’m missing out on too much “fun stuff.” 😛

  17. I'm Colombian and Alcohol is a big thing in both my families!

    (Rant bellow because I didn't pay attention to how much I wrote)

    In my mom's side, my great-grandfather would give each grandchild a bottle of beer in parties that lasted them through the night, and in my dad's side rum is A Really Big Thing, but my great-grandmother loved aguardiente with sprite, and even joked about sprite (as in the soda) being the thing that made you drunk.

    My parents have always given me small doses of alcohol to the point it's normalised and easily available, so I don't feel the necessity my fellow peers (I'm a teenager/young adult) have with getting completely wasted. I do enjoy a sip of it from time to time at family gatherings or events, but I could live without it.

    Idk alcohol is weird and to each their own

  18. I always love when people talk about the fact that they don’t drink. Makes me feel like less of an outsider.

  19. I very very very rarely drink, my boyfriend doesn't either. We are the odd balls to our friends and family! It's great. We is usually on babysitting duty! But yayyy babies

  20. The amount of drinking/drinkers varies in my friend group but for Halloween we now do a non drinking party at my house because we all love doing elaborate costumes and were tired of going 'into town' where it felt like the only option was to be amongst the drinking and all the loudness/mess/inconvenience that involves when really all we wanted to do was sit around and show off our costumes to each other

  21. Yesss, as a student who does not drink it can be so frustrating socially…in Canada (my home country) its not too bad (ppl more alarmed that I don't drink coffee than the no alcohol thing) but since being abroad in Netherlands I haven't been able to go to or enjoy any student events because all late at night and all drinking oriented :/
    Also, so happy to see these four beautiful rays of sunshine all at once!! Love you guys.

  22. Jessica I really feel you on the awkwardness of refusing multiple drinks at events…I don't have any health related dietary restrictions when it comes to beverages (or in general) – I'm just what I would describe as a "picky drinker". I don't like soda or carbonated water, and fruit juices/other drinks are really hit and miss. I genuinely like plain water! When I ask for a glass of water at events people will often list all of their other drink options and I have to convince them that actually, I am very happy with a glass of water. Or people will assume I'm on a diet, when I'm not at all – I just genuinely like non-carbonated water.

  23. I'm pretty sure there is less drinking at Trans Pride because the Gay and Lesbian community has been supported by Absolut Vodka since the 70s before a B or a T was added.

  24. Every single person in this video is dishy AF and watching gorgeous people talk about stuff that's super relatable for me (being a queer, non-binary, disabled person who can't drink alcohol or sugary drinks) has genuinely brightened up my morning, so thank you 😁💖

    Also, being a non-drinker here in Australia is even weirder than it is in the UK 🤣 (I'm from Liverpool, but now live in Western Australia). My adoptive country has a huge alcohol problem 😓

  25. i'm wholly sober yet am, almost ALWAYS, mistaken as being high/tipsy on nights out. the "revelation" that i've been chugging WATER (yay, chronic dehydration) never fails to leave others HILARIOUSLY SHOCKED.

    i assume that i'm so frequently mistaken as high because i habitually Dad Dance to make others join in AS SOON AS I'M IN A CLUB, after growing up doing dance i'm USED to Feeling Ridiculous & even ENJOY it, if only because of how funny it is when people get embarrassed FOR you.

    (nothing like doing dance matinees well into your teens, stuffed into the same fake-wings the six year olds are wearing, and then whacking yourself in the face with said wings every other turn to make "shame" a fond memory from a bygone era)

  26. As someone who isn't really into alcohol and is a first year gay uni student (the time of peoples lives where everyone is super obsessed with being either drunk or high every weekend) its really nice to see two youtubers that I respect a lot be unapologetic about this topic. I stay away from peer pressure but its hard to not feel like your somehow wrong for not wanting to do what others are doing or that your being unfriendly/bad. People always get kinda weird around me when I tell them I don't drink just because I don't want to. This video is really important!

  27. I went through a short drinking phase before stopping because it seemed like a waste of money and then promptly becoming allergic to it thanks to mcas lmao

  28. the lgbtq+ events not revolving around alcohol is honestly so real, as a queer muslim im not the most comfortable in drinking settings like pubs and bars, i always feel out of place, but even aside from that it's inaccessible to people like recovering alcoholics, or those who could be triggered being in that kind of environment, and even for underage people; a lot of times kids who are closeted would find it hard to go to events that are queer and also accessible to them. anyways i feel really strongly about this and when you mentioned it i was like yES

  29. I live in Brazil and in every party, in barbecues (which is very common here, at least in my region) and in social gatherings people drink beer, always. It's almost a law (socially) to have beer when a lot of people gather. And a lot of people drink beer at home, after a day's work. In parties it's common to have vodka, there may be other beverages, but vodka is the most common. Wine is drunk by some people at home, and like in weddings, but not always. There's a kind of drink that is made from sugar cane, cachaça (I don't think there's a word in English for this beverage), and it's mainly drank at bars and at some parties. I don't know a lot because I usually don't drink, because my body literally hates beer (I can't even smell it), and I have a stomach disease that makes it hard to drink other alcoholic beverages.

  30. I am 33 and literally have never been drunk in my life. I HATE the idea of vomiting, once more you are paying for the possibility of vomiting! I occasionally have a glass of wine but don’t love it. I did grow up in a pretty religious home where alcohol never was around but even after becoming an adult and moving out just didn’t have the interest 🤷🏻‍♀️

  31. People really don't understand that I don't drink often just because it usually doesn't make me feel very good mentally. I usually just tell people that I can't drink on my medication (which isn't 100% a lie, but not the real reason) because people seem to find it easier to understand that "I can't drink" instead of "I don't want to today". I've struggled to be involved with uni events this year because they're mostly nightclub type events that I don't enjoy
    This was a validating video to watch 🙂

  32. I live in Singapore and cannot FATHOM how someone drinks only 2 glasses of water a day.

    Also: I LOVE JESSICA’S DRESS!!!

  33. To be honest, I feel like the reason trans pride tends to be less focused on alcohol is because so many of us are on some kind of anti-depressant? For example, with my TCAs I just can't drink at all, but even for people on SSRIs or SNRIs, it's still not exactly encouraged… so there are more people looking for non-alcoholic options?

  34. I'm French and I don't drink.
    I've literally heard comments in parties saying: "Well, you're not really French then" or "Do you realize what image of France you give living in Germany and not drinking?"
    So much about alcohol culture I guess (:

    Oh and EVERYTIME I tell an absolute unknown person "no thank you I don't drink", they HAVE to ASK the reason why because it is so important for them to know HOW you could make such a choice??? As if I choose to idk walking on my hands instead of on my feet? Can people stop being so rude and intrusive some day??
    And I feel the part about LGBTI+ events being so much about night life and alcohol. I'm glad I am noticing a switch lately but GOD I spent my entire teens on my own because I had virtualy no events to go to (and felt even more akwkard as a LGBTI+ not integrating in their community…)!

  35. I don't drink, because, why would I? It's dangerous to your health and the few things I've tried were not very nice. I'm also not super comfortable around other people who drink due to a long history of reading books with abusive alcoholic parents in them. I'm slowly learning that irl drunk people aren't that bad. Most of my friends do drink, and I'm not gonna stop them because that's none of my business.

  36. i wonder if trans specific events have less drinking because of hormone stuff? i vaguely remember someone i knew saying something about having to get their liver checked before starting HRT. and my transwoman friend didn't drink very often to begin with but never does now and she says that's partially because she wants to be careful with her medications

  37. Two channels I adore and love, making a video together? All of my yes! Also, I'm LGBT+ and not a drinker, so pride is both fun and alienating for me.

  38. I’m Dutch and have been raised with two glasses of wine with dinner and maybe one or two more when you go out, but to drink responsibly. I’ve been drunk as a teen once and hated it and I’m not a big fan of parties, so I followed my family’s habits and just drank with my meals. That’s what I did until I started on medication that I wasn’t supposed to drink with. I then realized how much I dislike the effect of alcohol. I’m on meds still, but I’d never drink alcohol again. It doesn’t make me feel good and it takes away so much productivity when you drink with a meal, then the only thing you can do afterwards is hang on the sofa. I love being alcohol free and will never go back to even light drinking if the meds would ever stop. My husband joined me and he feels the exact same. We’re happily alcohol free and we like it a lot.

  39. Totally relate to this, grew up around non drinkers and when I turned 18 I tried a few drinks and didn't like the taste, and they made me sleepy. I now typically avoid situations where I'd be expected to drink but fortunatley most of my friends are understanding

  40. Fun fact! The “8 glasses of water a day” was supposed to include water you get from food and other liquids! So you don’t need to force yourself to drink 8 glasses of water a day unless you are on a dehydrating medication or have a condition.

  41. 8:43 Just for the "amount [of liquid] we're supposed to" – don't worry about the eight glasses of water. I'm not a doctor but there's as far as i know no scientific evidence, that a human needs to drink eight glasses of water a day. Generally for a healthy human feeling thirsty is a perfect indicator on when you should drink something or eat some juicy fruit or whatever.

  42. Can't watch yet because I'm at work but omg omg omg omg I am so excited for this and this collab just made my day.

  43. I used to drink but due to terrible experiences I just… don't. If someone offers me a drink I sip at it if it's like a pina colada or something but I prefer tea or water. I just lost my aunt because of alcohol, my ex was an alcoholic, I have family members who drink heavily and I just I hate what it does to people so the whole thing has put me off. And being drunk is so uncomfortable.

  44. I'm tea-total (only I don't like tea either) when you see people the day after, its a case of "and that's fun why?"

  45. I’m on accutane right now and can’t drink but I’m actually kind of glad that I can’t drink because it doesn’t make me feel very good anyways. I still have fun going out cause I get to watch everyone else lose their minds and I get to drink all the ginger ale I want (and not be broke at the end of the night)

  46. I scrolled past this a few times because I didn't realise jamie and shaaba were in it. Also in my family its kind of a tradition that when you turn 18 you buy my dad a pint

  47. I don't drink, and it's always so annoying constantly being told that I'll change my mind one day. Like I'm 19, I don't ever want to drink, and yet people still harass me about it. And how is it even your business if I do change my mind? Doesn't mean you need to invalidate what I'm feeling right now.

  48. I love this video! ❤ I had never heard of "teetotal" before, just "being sober" so I thought it was an unfamiliar channel name at first 😂
    I come from the grape growing part of California and my mom was in the wine business my whole childhood, and my dad brews beer, so my parents are a little bummed that I don't have much of a taste for either but I'll smell and tell them what "notes" and things I get that way when they want an opinion 😂 Drinking culture at universities here (even ones that are not "party schools") is horrendous and my parents are horrified when I tell them the things I see and hear about, so they don't blame me for not wanting to drink at all, even if I could stand the taste. People drink with the aim of blacking out and potentially poisoning themselves, not wanting to just have a drink with friends to be a little buzzed, and I don't understand it at all. They always have an awful time by the end of the night and the next day. I'm glad my partner doesn't enjoy drinking either.
    Thanks for another lovely video! ❤

  49. Yey! 🙂 ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
    Never enjoyed or could tolerate alchohol in my body.
    I'm natural a bit "drunk" always…
    Makes me feel very sick and have allergic reactions to tiny amounts.
    LOVE LOVE LOVE to YOU DEAR JESSICA!!!♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
    RHANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO AND TALK ABOUT!!!♡♡♡♡♡

  50. Thank you for doing this video! As a queer non-drinker also in the UK, it’s hard to find other non-drinkers. I spend my life explaining it to people so much and relate to the lack of non-alcohol queer spaces. I miss First Out in London!

  51. I've never been drunk, but I like alcoholic food and drink. I love mead, cocktails, German wines, and liquor chocolates are my favourite thing.

  52. I live in the US and the main goal of most college students is to get blackout drunk. I dont know why this is but I used to drink quite a lot because of that atmosphere. It changed when I went out for my birthday one night got so drunk I was blacking out, I was crying, I was throwing up, all that fun stuff, and after I woke up the next morning and remembered bits and pieces of what happened I told myself I was never going to drink that much again. There's absolutely no gain, and it's embarrassing. I still drink but maybe I drink a hard soda instead of vodka shots

  53. I have been told "You are the most dangerous person here, you remember everything!" Also I don't get sleepy or happy, I get headaches!!!

  54. I have never drunk in my whole life. I come from Finland and the drinking culture here is to drink to get drunk. Not just drinking a glas or two as a social thing (but that happens also), but people will drink with the intention of getting drunk. But I feel like it's a thing that is most common for younger people. Then you grow up and realise that going to parties without having a hungover the next day actually is quite good and many of my classmates are stopping or reducing their drinking now. As I were younger I needed to explain why I didn't drink, but I haven't done that for years now… I don't know if I am with more accepting people nowadays, or if it is a getting older-thing (even if I am only 21).
    But I have never drunk and I may possibly been excluded from things in my youth just because I do not drink. Nowadays I do not go to parties bacause I don't want. Too much noise and people for this highly sensitive person. Because I am highly sensitive I also think alcohol wouldn't cooperate with me and I don't want to even try.

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